Leslie did not really know who she was. Not completely at least. Leslie knew this and she valued it. The idea that she was still growing, the idea that she always would grow and learn. The idea that each day shaped her life, her thoughts, her feelings, and her beliefs. Leslie was not afraid to crash through life. She made big jumps. Of course there were times when she stumbled and failed, but that’s just how things work. Leslie’s knowledge that she was still figuring herself out made it easy for her to make mistakes. It even made the mistakes in her life valuable, as long as she learned something from them.
Even though Leslie was still figuring herself out, she knew who she was and where she was going. It is a paradoxical idea, but it’s true. She moved with the rhythm of her soul. She was who she wanted to be. She was shaped by her experiences and by the people she surrounded herself with while still maintaining a strong sense of self. One of Leslie’s favorite quotes was “those that were seen dancing were thought insane by those that could not hear the music,” and she applied that idea to her everyday life. “Dancing” as herself, both literally and figuratively.
Leslie started taking dance classes when she was only 3 years old. Her dedication took her many places and taught her values that could only be learned in the studio. Her love for dance was altered through the years, but it always prevailed. Leslie was a dancer in the truest sense. She used her body to convey ideas when words failed.
One of the most important things about Leslie’s life was that she did not live it for spectacle. Her life was balanced, without being mundane. Elegant without being flashy. Leslie was a constant shimmer of rhythm and that’s how she will always remain.
The idea of dancing both literally and figuratively is interesting to me. It's brave of you to admit that you don't really know who you are. Life is so uncertain and complex. So many people like to pretend they know themselves completely, it's a horrible way to live.
ReplyDeleteI like that you still have a "strong sense of self" and that you knew who you were and where you were going without having yourself figured out. It's an extremely hard concept to grasp and i am still not sure that i understand it but, it provokes a very interesting view on the meaning of having yourself figured out. I will definitely think about tat when viewing my understanding of myself now.
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