These blog questions have been getting more and more personal as the weeks go on…sorry but I’m not feeling it. Alone is dark. Alone is empty. Alone is scary. Alone is real and I can’t tell such a real story through such fake means. I can’t tell my story to a computer screen. I can’t share intimate moments with you. Do you even care? I doubt it.
What I can do, is share an experience where I’ve had to portray feelings of loneliness, desperation, and solidarity. Naturally, this portrayal was through dance. Last year for the Guys and Dolls show (this year it’s on February 2nd at 7 and it’s going to be amazing, so come out and support because we’re fierce) I was in a dance where Nica, our choreographer, wanted to tell a story using us. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? That was basically the theme of the dance. Four people, all reflections of each other and all feeling alone. But of course when we’re alone we feel so isolated that instead of reaching out to others we reject the idea that anyone else could be feeling the exact same way. Therefore we retreat even more deeply into ourselves and lose the chance to relate to others. My “reflection”/ partner in the dance was Jocelyne. I danced with her doing the same movements at the same time but without realizing that there was another person there. And when I realized it, I became shocked at the notion that there could be someone out there who felt alone too.
Later in the dance, there was a part where I had to break free from the bubble of isolation and reach out to the other dancers. After dancing a solo, I had to run back to the others and let them know that they weren’t alone. I was their angel on the moon. The lyrics in the song at that point were “This is for all of us.” And it really was. It was for the dancers, for Nica, for the team, for everyone in the audience who had ever felt alone, and it was for you.
